Michelle...

It annoys me that I try to be friends with someone and they dont reciprocate it back. To me friends mean the world to me and so that is why i try my best to support them, to show them that I am genuine, to show that I care, and to show that if they need anything I am always there!! Once you are a close friend to me i treat you like you are my family. I understand that maybe you might have friend issues or trust issues but goddamn man!! i have been friends with you for almost 5 or 6 years now and you cant even like treat me like someone you know?? It really annoys me but i try my best to not show it or show that I am mad….i am really a nice and happy person!! I am probably one of the most open minded person but maybe i should just become a bitch and not even try. Ugh forget it!! it’s my birthday and i will be me and have SOME MOTHERFUCKIN FUN!!!! :P

It’s official!!! I am finally 21!!! this is a weird yet awesome feeling to be 21!! I really never thought I could be 21!! I feel kind of old but not really because I am gonna get wasted and play games all day!!! lol what grown-up does that?? kekekeke

Anyways i cannot begin to express how happy I am to be here and to have all the people that I love in my life!!! I would not be where I am today without my family, friends, mentors, and myself!! I hope that today will be filled with joy and drunkness!! And hopefully i will be safe on saturday when I have my birthday party!!!

OH GOD!!!! EVERYONE IS SO GONNA WRITE ON ME!!!! CRAP!!!! Should I cancel so i dont have to have a huge hang over the next day??!!! I really hate throwing up!!! Someone save me!!  lol…oh well!! everyone has to go through it sooner or later!!!

OMG I CANT WAIT TO PARTY!!!!! FINALLY LEGAL TO MOTHER FUCKIN DRINK!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!! <3 <3 <3

Home!!!

I get to go home this weekend!! YAY!! I missed my family so much!! My home in Madison is great but it is just nice to be with family and to be where you grew up.  Yeah sometimes i fight with my siblings but all in all they are my family and gives me have the feeling of what home is. Yesterday my parents and 2 of my brothers came to visit me!! It was so great!! I swear sometimes I just want to kidnap my mom and force her to stay with me!!! lol..but of course I can’t.

I really wonder sometimes if it would have been better to go to school in Milwaukee??!!! I can save money, I can be with my family, I can see my nephew and niece grow up, and I can just be there for my family more.  It’s really hard to go back and forth from Madison to Milwaukee.  So many things are happening at home and I am missing everything!! I do not know how I am going to survive when I go to Korea!! I can’t even be away from my family in Madison, how am i going to move to Korea without crying??? lol I love them to death and I hope that they are proud of me no matter what I do or who I become!! :) <3 <3 <3

Well I get to go home and see the fam bam for awhile!! YAY ME!!!

So lately i have been feeling lonely.  I hang out with my friends and roommate almost everyday but I just feel lonely.  I dont know what it is!!! Also i have been feeling really unmotivated to continue school.  A girl i know was promoted to be a manager at wet seals.  Now i know that it might not mean something, but it does.  Even though she does not have a degree, because of her experience as a manager, she can surpass me any day!! not that i want to go into business or anything but my point is, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE!!! College is suppose to be where you find yourself and you really get to know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are and basically live happily knowing that when you get out, a nice job will be waiting for you because you got a bachelor’s degree!!!

WRONG!!!!!!!!

I swear i am such a loser because i do not have any job experience, i do not have the courage to call back to the jobs i applied for because i am afraid of rejection and i just dont know who i am!!!

why do i want to go to korea but not want to stay in milwaukee to help my family or my community?? why is it that i can give advice and encourage other people to do the best that they can do, when I, myself, do not use my own advice!! why is it that i can never finish reading a book, if it is for school or for pleasure?  why is it that i am starting to lose myself and want to lock myself in a room and cry?? maybe it is because of my past life that i was stuck in a small tiny room my entire past life!!!

ugh i am just so annoyed and i want to have money so i can travel and get out and have a life!!! I want to do so many things but everything costs money!!! MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!! FUCK YOU MONEY!!!!!!! :’(

lthaofly asked: I don't want to ask anything! I just want to say hello :D

hi!!